Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Love..? Not just that.


He rode his bike until the down-pouring drops made it hard to keep his eyelids open apart. Rain seemed to have taken a challenge; they had to find a shelter soon. A lonely shop with shutter down midst total dark was only what they found along the suburban roadside. Before she could ask him to stop, he took their way off the street towards the closed shop.

It always so happened, he used to read her mind and she spoke his words. Though they came from different profession, their thoughts kept flowing in the same direction. In his busy schedule, he always found enough time for her and she, unknowingly made him ample space in her reserved world. She never wanted him in her life nor he did; but life had brought them close together.

Apart from the sparingly moving vehicles, only lightening in the sky lit the dark around them. He figured no glimpse of regret on her face in being there for him and she could pick no danger in his look for being there with him. They had no idea, as to what they actually expected amongst each other, which made their hearts literally heavier.

Love..? Not just that. Valentine’s Day might have had them speak the word, if it was only that. 14-Febs were yet another day together, making choice harder for them as ever. She didn’t want to pick a yellow rose for him and he wasn’t daring to pluck a red rose either. They had no clue, what was really apt.

Wind blew stronger, to soak them in rain even under shelter. Clothes failing to reveal their existence on skin, chill made its way deep into the bones. They stood close enough; she could feel his breath and he did feel her shiver. Darkness masked his feelings from her while he gently placed his hands across her shoulder. It made her shiver more, as she lost her warmth to him in his arms. Soon, they felt comfortably warmer. Their heart got lighter and the rain, heavier.

17 comments:

  1. I think this is your first entry into fiction Prashanth. You are a good story teller too!

    For, the first of its kind, this is really good. Emotions soaked and revealed in rain. :)

    Worth the wait.

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  2. Sahana, you are right; this is my first ever fiction writing(?!).

    I know am pretty poor in putting emotions to words, but wanted to test myself. It took so much out of me, I actually was tempted to post a 'MAKING OF FICTION' :D

    My wife should be really thanked, for her support in 'silence' at 'bed time' while I kept on scribbling and erasing continuously in a notebook with a pencil and an eraser :P

    Am gonna give not just a second, but lot many thoughts for sure before I could take up fiction writing ever again.

    And, thanks. Thanks so much for your encouraging words of comment. It means a lot :o)

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  3. "Behind every fictitious writing, there's a woman"! :-P
    Thanks to your Wifey, you actually came up with something like this for the first time!
    Awesome :-) Keep them coming :-)

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  4. Ha ha ha I should agree with your statement, Divya.

    Yeah, this was my first ever fiction in Blog. Am glad you described it as 'Awesome'. Thank you :o)

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  5. An absolute beautiful piece.. Keep it up Prashanth.

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  6. Soumya, thank you :o)

    Do I need to mention that a major part of my fiction writing inspiration came from LOL?! :D

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  7. "She never wanted him in her life nor he did"
    This sentence gets the reader out of story context Prashanth, This can also mean that "She did not want him in her life ever".
    If possible, have a second look at that sentence.
    Otherwise as I have said, excellent script.
    And KUDOS to your wife.

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  8. Sahana, am glad to see your feedback; thanks :o)

    That sentance, to me, is very important coz I wanted the script not to give a complete positive note to conclude they were in love & put a doubt about their relation in the mind of reader. That way, my efforts have gotten paid I must sat :o)

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  9. I was replying from my mobile on the move and so made a typo. The above comment should end as:

    I must "say" :o)

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  10. It always so happened, he used to read her mind and she spoke his words.

    She never wanted him in her life nor he did; but life had brought them close together.

    Two different perspectives in the same paragraph itself..brave enough to change the reader's mind from one flow of thought to another..
    very Well written..njoyed my presence here.. :)

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  11. Gowthami, firstly, welcome to my Blog :o)

    You call it "brave"?! Guess, it might also be my inexperience in writing fictions peeping up there.

    Am glad you enjoyed reading here; hope you keep visiting in future too..

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  12. this reminded me of ur post on valentines day.
    She didn’t want to pick a yellow rose for him and he wasn’t daring to pluck a red rose either. ---nice lines! the kashmaskash of love

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  13. Thanks, Sujatha. That's the 'beauty' of 'love' :o)

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  14. Fantastic......
    Very Nicely expressed emotions.....
    Really liked it very much.....

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  15. Vyshali, firstly, welcome to my Blog :o)

    Thanks, thank you very much! Am glad you read the emotions in it :o)

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  16. You are a good story teller.

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  17. Sheeba, welcome to my Blog :o)

    Thanks for your encouraging words :o)

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